Monday, August 18, 2008

Between the Cracks

Seem to have slipped between the cracks and gone off grid last week - somewhat unintentionally and definitely uncomfortably.

It was our vacation, but I thought a little work (ok, maybe a lot) wouldn't hurt. The kids are older and won't need my attention as much which will equal a little more free time. I saw it as a good opportunity to install and learn quick books (I know - what a geek!) and enter a bursting folders worth of receipts. Seemed harmless enough. I also brought a rubbermaid container full of stock and mailing materials so I wouldn't have to close shop completely.

Enter the vacation gods - limited internet access and no cell phone service and fog and rain in the forecast for days on end. When I did get cell phone service, it was only to discover that in the haste of switching carriers, my account was wiped out before I had a chance to listen to waiting voice mails or sync up all my stored numbers. The gods tried, but I persisted - I'll check emails only once a day. But doing it that way gave me no time to actually respond/react to emails as quickly and thoroughly as I usually do because rain + kids = mommy time.

Quick books got installed but not before 4 or 5 days of procrastinating - or was that vacationing? - I don't know because there was a nagging feeling of not being productive (isn't that one of the goals of a relaxing vacation?) I was officially caught in no mans land - somewhere between working and vacationing but not doing either with any flair or success.

I (kind of) got it towards the middle of last week when I let go of my own work expectations and the guilt that closely follows for under performing and actually had fun with the family spontaneously running to the beach when the clouds temporarily parted to let the sun peek down and burn off the ever present fog. That's it really: taking advantage of an opportunity and dropping everything to run away into the sunshine for a brief moment. In this age of 24/7 access and being the sole proprietor, it's hard to turn if off - but it's also a necessity. At least to press the pause button on it all.

I'm back at home now. Kicking myself for lost opportunities to spend time with family and friends and hike the beautiful Maine coast. Forgiving myself and most importantly vowing to NEVER take a work on vacation again.

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